Agent 32: Spongebond Squarepants
by Supa Nova
Summary: 2ND CHAPTER UP! R+R!! Bond.Sponge Bond. When Neptune's evil brother gathers all of Bikini Bottom's villians to take over the world, wreak havoc on starfish and steal the new secret sauce, only one agent is good enough to save the seven seas.
1. It All Begins

Agent -32 : Spongebond Squarepants in "Sponge Another Day!"  
  
OK, this is my first story so go easy on me!  
A very odd blend of humor, spoofs, action, and old-fashioned insanity.  
Chapter 1 12:00 PM July 12th A Dark and Scary Ocean Trench Rock Bottom  
  
Triton was in a foul mood. This isn't saying much because when your conceited and ignorant older brother got to rule the entire ocean and gave you the darkest, gloomiest and altogether worst part of it to take care of, well, you usually are.  
Everyone knew about Neptune. The handsome king of the sea, living in his fancy little palace in stylish Atlantis, always with his big shiny trident. No one cared about poor Triton, the hardworking one but unlucky one, the ambitious one, the one who got kicked out of Atlantis just because he had discovered electricity (and fried a few mortal attendants in the process). Sure, maybe he wasn't as good looking as his brother, but what difference does scarce and spiky hair and a few warts make?  
And those starfish. Triton's blood boiled at the thought. The glass of sea-whiskey he was holding was crushed between his strong and furious fingers. Oh, but soon, they'd see. they'd all see! No one rejects the mighty Triton! A small black robot approached. "King Triton, everything is in order," it wheezed in the usual monotone. "Perfect," he smirked. Triton settled back into his throne. Soon, he would have his revenge.  
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9:32 AM July 14th - Starfish Day The Krusty Krab  
  
"I HATE starfish." Squidward moaned. "Oh, cheer up, Squidy!" sang his very yellow co-worker. "Just be glad that you get to plaster smiles on the faces of all these customers!" "Aye, and smilin' customers means loads o' money!" said their boss, Mr. Krabs, poking his head out from his office. "Now keep fillin' those orders, and who knows, mebbe you just might get a raise!" Mr. Krabs stopped and scratched his chin. "Well, okay you won't get a raise. Just get back to work." He pulled his head back in and slammed the door.  
  
The restaurant was full of mindless, drooling starfish, there for the holiday. They meandered around aimlessly, some trying to open packets of ketchup, others attempting to shove sporks up their noses (which they didn't have). A few stared at the menu blankly. A chubby pink starfish in floral swim trunks made his way up to the register. "Hi Squidward!" he said, recognizing the cashier as his neighbor. "Yeah, whatever, Patrick. Just order and get out of my face." "Okay," Patrick replied. He stared hard at the menu. "I'll take a. a.,"  
  
Oooooh boy, thought Squidward. "Are you going to order or just stand there wasting my air all day, you moronic barnacle-head?!" he snapped crabbily. Finally, Patrick's face lit up. "I'll take a large bucket of deep-fried algae with extra garlic." Squidward glared at the starfish. Why do I force myself to live with these total imbeciles?! he wondered. "We don't serve that here you idiot!! Can't you read the stupid sign?!" "Oh. OK. Then I guess I'll just take a. duh..."  
  
Suddenly, nine anchovies dressed in black jumpsuits descended from the ceiling. Fast and silent they lifted up the terrified starfish and threw them back up to their positions on the roof. One grabbed Squidward in a noselock, while another one started digging around in the counter. After a few seconds he held up a small bottle with a triumphant "Meep!" and the squad escaped. Mr. Krabs burst out of his office and Spongebob jumped out of the kitchen. "Well, you're a little too late," Squidward said dryly, rubbing his nose. "They took Patrick!" Spongebob sobbed. "And all of the other customers too! Oh, my best friend!" He fell face down on the floor and started weeping hysterically. "Worse, lad!" Mr. Krabs said with a steely look in his eyes. "They took the secret sauce!" "Huh? But we have loads of it." "No, boy, the NEW secret sauce! The one that would change the world!" Mr. Krabs glanced at Squidward warily. "Arrgh, foller me into my office," he whispered to Spongebob. Spongebob's gut instincts were flapping their jaws. He knew that what Mr. Krabs would tell him would change his life. He only hoped that he had remembered to refill Gary's water bowl.  
  
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That's the first chapter. If you liked it, hated it or used it to unclog your toilet, review or drop me an email. 


	2. Mr Krabs Tells All

Okay, I forgot to do this in the first chapter, so here ya go.  
  
DISCLAIMER: Although I wish I did, I don't own any of the characters in my story except for Triton.  
  
CLAIMER: I own Triton and if you want to use him in your fanfic, email me first.  
Well, that's done. Back to the story.  
  
CHAPTER 2  
  
Spongebob had barely gotten his yellow behind into the office before Mr. Krabs slammed the door hard enough to bring several of his wall hangings crashing down. "Follow me, boy." he said through clenched teeth. Scurrying over to the wall, the crustacean lifted a small hatch and punched in some numbers on the keyboard. "Passcode accepted" squeaked a small mechanical voice. The wall swung open and hit Spongebob hard in the nose. "Yeowch!" he said, rubbing the part. "Say Mr. K., when did you get a secret room?"  
"Can't talk here, lad," Mr. Krabs said, pushing past his frycook. "Don't know who could be listenin'. C'mon, we don't have much time." He hurried down the tunnel, Spongebob struggling to keep up.  
They arrived in a circular, black room. Mr. Krabs punched in another code in the wall and the door slammed shut. He pressed a button and a desk and two chairs rose out of the floor. "Hold on a second," he said to Spongebob, and scuttled over to a closet. He re-emerged a few seconds later, dressed in a black suit and tie. "There, that's much better." he said, and settled into his chair. "Take a seat."  
"Now Spongebob, I've got a job for you."  
"Oh boy!" Spongebob yelled happily. "Does it involve working the register?"  
"No, me boy, it's bigger than that. Oh boy, I can see I'll have to completely brief you.  
  
"The reason I brought you down here is because, well, I just can't trust that lubber Squidward. After he stole me first dime."  
"But he didn't steal it." "I'm the one doin' the talkin' around here! Well, after he stole my first dime, I figured that he would just as soon betray us to the enemy as polish that clarinet of his. And trust me, that's the last thing we need now.  
"The fact is, restaurant owner that I am, I'm the head of a top- secret spy organization dedicated to keep the evil-doers of Bikini Bottom at bay. And right now, Bikini Bottom is in danger."  
Mr. Krabs pressed a button on the arm of his chair. A film projector rose up out of it, projecting out onto the walls faces of some not-so-nice people.  
"Man-ray, the Dirty Bubble, Plankton. we've all been keepin' an' eye on them. But him." the crab pressed another button. A hideous face, scarred and jagged, with a very slight resemblance to King Neptune was shown. Spongebob gasped. "That guy's the janitor at my boating school!"  
Mr. Krabs sighed. "No, Spongebob, that's Triton, King Neptune's evil brother. We've been keepin' tabs on him ever since he electrocuted all those people and made it look like an accident. Got him kicked out of Atlantis. He's ruler o' Rock Bottom now, horrid place if there ever was one." He shuddered, obviously reliving some horrible experience. "Well, he's been furious ever since he got the job, can't blame him. I wouldn't go back down there for twenty bucks. Now, I know that he's plottin' something. This is all in bits and pieces, but it's all we've got.  
"Triton is gathering his forces around him. All the usual do-badders, but also any other rotten bloke who are itchin' for some power. And at this rate, he'll have quite an army.  
"Now here's somethin' weird. A couple years back, our boy Triton got furious at a buncha starfish, Neptune only knows why. He vowed that he'd get his revenge on every starfish in the sea. If I know that jerk, he's probably still carrying that ol' grudge."  
"That explains the starfish abduction!" gasped Spongebob.  
  
"Aye, boy."  
"But Mr. Krabs," Spongebob said. "Why did the commando anchovies steal the new secret sauce? Where they hungry?"  
"Well lad," his boss replied. "I wasn't gonna tell ye this, but here goes.  
  
"One night I was in the kitchen, tryin' out new recipes to bring in some more customers. I startin' mixin' stuff up. Most of it was too horrible to describe. I finally decided to make up one last batch before hittin' the sack. So I ran about here and there, usin' ingredients from the back of the cupboards, stuff that'd been there for ages. I mixed it all together and then took a taste.  
"There was an explosion, and I was thrown back against the wall. I think I fell unconscious, but anyway, when I woke up, I discovered I had some supernatural powers. X-ray vision, flying ability, stuff like that. But there were others too, ones I couldn't start to describe. All I knew was that they were incredibly powerful, and if the sauce fell into the wrong hands, we'd all be goners.  
"That's why I hid the sauce, and that's also why them anchovies took it." Mr. Krabs looked Spongebob hard in the eye. "And boy, I need YOU to retrieve it."  
Spongebob looked shocked. "But why me? I haven't had any experience!  
  
"Well, call it crazy, call it gut instinct, call it whatever you like, but I have a feeling that you have the energy, determination, loyalty and sponginess- well, especially the sponginess, to save the world. Can you do that?"  
Spongebob grinned so wide you could see the back of his throat. He leapt up into the air.  
  
"I'M READY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 


	3. Spongebond Squarepants

Spongebond Squarepants  
  
Chapter 3  
  
"Okay, boy, if you're gonna be a secret agent, you're gonna have to dress like one." Mr. Krabs threw Spongebob a black tuxedo. "Here, put this on." Spongebob looked at his new uniform. "But Mr. Krabs, these pants aren't square! I-" "Just put on the stupid pants! Besides, from now on, you're not square, you're COOL!" He looked hard at the secret agent wannabe. "You'll need a new name, too, I can tell. Let's see, something close to your old one, but much more suave. Let's see. Spongebun, Spongebib, Spongebelch- I've got it! Your new name will be Spongebond Squarepants!" Spongebob scratched his head. "Uh, I dunno Mr. K., I don't know if I can handle the extra letter. Can't I just keep my old name?" "Oh, you'll grow into it. You're also gonna need a number. Let's see. I think Agent -32 (negitive 32) sounds just right. Now all you're gonna need is a partner. Well, technically a sidekick, but she's probably gonna end up saving your butt in about every situation, so." he shrugged. "May I introduce. Sandy Cheeks!" "SANDY?!!!"  
  
From somewhere up in the rafters a lithe brown squirrel in a black evening gown jumped, did a few somersaults in the air and landed on her feet with a loud "Ta-da!" Sandy opened her eyes. "Wha- SPONGEBOB?!" She whipped her head around at her boss. "KRABS! YOU GAVE THE ASSIGNMENT TO SPONGEBOB? YOU BARNACLE A-" "Umm, Sandy? No profanity, we're in a cartoon fanfiction, please." Spongebob whispered meekly.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Isn't this exiting, Sandy? We're gonna save Bikini Bottom together! Oh, I can hardly wait. But, um, I've never seen you in a dress before." "Yeah, you're right it is a little confining." The squirrel ripped the garment off, revealing black jeans and a black midriff top. She sighed. "Ahh, much better. Well Spongebob, if you don't mess this one up too, then I guess we better go save the day. Krabs?" Mr. Krabs gave her the thumbs up, and pressed a button on his keypad. The wall opened again, revealing a small garage with a gorgeous top-of-the-line shining black Manta SE 5000 speedboat. Spongebob gasped. "It's sooooooooooo beautiful! I've always wanted one! I can't believe I'm gonna drive a Manta!!!" Sandy rolled her eyes. "Sorry to burst your bubble Spongebob, but I'm driving. You don't even have your boating license." "Oh yes he does!" Mr. Krabs said gleefully. He extracted a small card from his front pocket. "Here's your license, boy, it's official!" he said, handing it to Spongebob. "Yay!!" I've finally got my license! This is the best day of my life!" Sandy frowned. "Well, I'm still driving. We can't afford to die ten seconds into the mission." "Nope! I'm the secret agent, I'LL drive." The sponge said haughtily. Ooooh boy, I know I'm not gonna survive this. Sandy thought, as the duo got into the Manta. After about fifteen minutes, her partner managed to start the boat. "Good luck! It's all up to you now!" Mr. Krabs yelled over the roar of the engines. "Make me proud!" "Don't worry, Mr. K.! We won't let you down! We won't- AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Spongebob had overdrived the boat, smashed through the closed garage door and sped off into the city in reverse. Mr. Krabs sighed. "Arggh, I knew I should've let the squirrel drive." Meanwhile, Spongebob and Sandy were getting into trouble WAY bigger than just the boating incident.  
  
Supa Nova picks up pompoms Did ya like the 3rd chapter? Well ya know what to do! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! Yeah! 


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